One Mistake
by withie01
Summary: Everyone knows where they belong in this world. So do I. But people make mistakes, even by accident. And one mistake can ruin your life. So if you don't choose carefully, you might end up dead. Or worse.- To see Justinas POV go to; /s/10586121/1/One-Mistake
1. Me

Hi, I'm Emily. And I live in Amity. It is so peaceful and happy here, and I like it. Everyone gets along, we receive zero threats and everyone is my friend. We do a lot of farming, it's basically the only thing we do. We have a good connection with all the factions, even the ones that scare us. Like Dauntless. They are brave and fearless and always getting in trouble. They jump off moving trains and all kinds of stuff. Then Erudite. They aren't all that scary. They do math for fun, they invent all the things we use and they create all the machines and serums. They are the intelligent ones, except they're trying to take over Abnegations role in leadership. Abnegation are the selfless. They spend all their time helping the factionless- the people who didn't make it past their initiations- they help anyone who is in need, and they are in charge of the way things go around here. And last of all, is Candor. They are all about honesty. They always know when your telling a lie, they say whatever's on their mind and they just...be themselves.

My little sister lays beside me on my bed. She had a bad dream and got scared so she crawled in with me. She said something about Divergent's taking over her mind and controlling her. But everyone's knows that Divergent's aren't real.

I wake up and my sister isn't there. She must be awake already. I get out of bed and walk to my wardrobe. I put on my simple yellow Amity top and a red skirt, nothing too fancy. I go down the stairs and to the living room where my mother and sister sit.

"Hello, Emily. Did you have a nice sleep?" my mother asks.

I nod. "Yes, how about you?" She nods.

My sister runs up to hug me and I hug her back. "Your Apitichute test is today," she says struggling. It's really adorable how she struggles with the word Aptitude. "Good luck." She smiles at me and I smile back.

"Thank you, Mia," I say, "I will." We both smile again.

Am I nervous about the Aptitude test? No. Because I know that I'm going to get Amity. I was born and raised in Amity and I intend to stay here. Everyone is always telling me that I'm perfect for Amity, and I know I am. No matter what the test tells me, I'm picking Amity. Anyway, I'm not smart enough for Erudite, I'm not brave enough for Dauntless, I lie too much for Candor and I'm too selfish for Abnegation. I belong here and everybody knows it.

I pick up my bag and walk to the front door. Mia's already waiting for me. I open the door and we walk to school in silence. It's a very windy day and the leaves are blowing everywhere.

I arrive and find my friend. Samantha stands at the front door of the school calling my name. She's also from Amity. And she's going to stay there with me.

School's boring and I'm not listening to anything the teacher is saying. I'm actually nervous. What if I don't get Amity? Will I still choose it? What if I get Dauntless? They're terrifying. What if I don't get anything? Then I'll become factionless. I'll be scared of myself. Okay fine, I'm scared of the factionless, they look like zombies. And what I've heared, zombies aren't peaceful.

Class finishes and I'm in the first group for the Aptitude tests. I hurry to the cafeteria where I'm supposed to wait. One of the Abnegation running the tests says my name along with some others and I follow them. The door is right in front of me. Like I said, I'm not scared. I'm terrified.


	2. Exactly What I Thought

I turn the nob and open the door. Next to a weird chair stands an Abnegation women with long, brown hair, wearing a grey top, classic Abnegation clothes.

She finally looks over to me, avoiding sight from the mirror. Why don't Abnegation look at mirrors? It's not like the mirror is going to attack them. But I don't say anything. I don't want to seem rude. "Sit, please," she says. I take a seat in the chair next to her.

She prepares something in a small glass. "Stay still," she says. I nod. She hands me the glass of a clear liquid and looks at me until I realise that she wants me to drink it. What is it, is the question I'm so eager to ask.

I accept the cup and drink every drop. My eyes start to loose focus and the room starts to spin. What's happening? My eyelids close and all I see is black.

I wake up in a room with nothing in it. Where am I? Are the tests over? Of course not, this is the test. I look to the other side of the room and see a table with two bowls on it. One contains a knife, and the other, cheese. Cheese? Why cheese? "Pick one," a voice from nowhere says. It resembles Jeanine Matthews voice. Something about her makes me feel like there's a hole burning in my chest and I feel like running. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I pick the cheese. What would I do with a knife?

I hear a growl behind me so I turn around. An angry dog stands with his big, sharp teeth out ready to attack. What do I do, what do I do? The cheese, of course. I bend over and hold out the cheese. The dog puts his teeth away and walks towards me. I close my eyes hoping he'll take the cheese. And so it does. I pat the dog as it takes the cheese and smile. I guess this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I love dogs.

Suddenly, the dog disappears and I'm left alone. Where did he go? I turn around to find a man standing behind me. He looks very healthy and clean. He wears blue symbolising Erudite. "Hello," I say.

He stares directly into my eyes. I'm scared. "I want bread," he says. What do I say? I don't have any bread.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have any bread." He looks at me even harder. I don't like this.

"What about the bread behind you?" he says. What? I turn around and there sits a plate of bread. I pick it up and hand it to him. He smiles, drops his head down, then back up-meaning, thank you- and leaves. Well that was scary.

Everything blacks out and I'm left sitting in the chair, with the Abnegation woman standing next to me. I look around the room, making sure there are no dogs or people from anywhere but Abnegation and Amity. It's clear.

"Great news," she says, "your results...Amity.


	3. The Way Things Are

Yes! I got Amity. Had doubts but, this is my future! I'm going to be happy forever! If I make it past initiation. Which I so will! I smile and walk out completely calm. Then I break into _my_ form of sprint. I'm so slow. I run down the hallway until I find Samantha. I leap onto her- without hurting her, of course- and give her a really big hug.

"What? Did you get Amity? Did you get something else? What happened?" she asks. She is so nosey.

"I got Amity!" I say. A smile creeps across her face. She got Amity too. We hug again, but only until the bell goes. Then I find my sister and walk home together.

"So what did you get?" Mia asks. We're not allowed to tell anyone about our scores but, who cares? Unless someone gets hurt. Then I care and offer help.

"Amity," I say. She smiles and hugs me.

"Congratulations," she says. I smile, then we arrive home.

We go immediately to the swing set and push each other. But it's mostly _me _pushing _her. _I always love doing this. "I'm going to pick Amity when I'm sixteen. Everyone is saying that I should." I smile.

"Well, just choose what _you _want to do. Don't let anyone tell you to do something you don't want to." She nods.

We sit and swing for a while until it starts to rain. Normally we would go inside but, it's too much fun. We get off the swing and start to chase each other. We laugh and smile for hours until it starts to get dark.

We go inside and I tell my parents about my score, and they're happy for me. I'm tired though, so I go to bed early.

I wake up to Mia. She can be _really_ loud sometimes. She jumps on my bed and hands me a daisy chain. "I made this for you," she says, "it's a headband for the choosing ceremony." I look at the flowers as she hands them to me. It's freshly made and perfect fit.

"Thank you," I say as I kiss her cheek. She giggles and hugs me. We stay in this position for a while until I have to get up and get ready.

I put on a yellow dress with a thick, red stripe through the centre. I also wear my matching red shoes. I take a look in the mirror as I do my hair. I put it in a very low, side ponytail to my right and put the headband on top where it won't get blown away from the wind. I smile before I leave and say Amity about fifty times in the mirror.

I walk to the living room and hug my mum. She's ready in her yellow dress and red shoes. Same with Mia. But my dad is wearing a yellow top and red pants, good clothes.

We leave the house and walk to the choosing ceremony building. I'm nervous but I don't know why. We take the stairs to the floor it's on and puff the second we're done. We find The Amity area and sit down. There are so many people here.


	4. Done Wrong

Marcus- the person who calls out the names as they decide their faction- stands on the stage talking to Jeanine Matthews. I have never exactly liked her that much. It's just something about her.

"Attention please? We are here to congratulate these members of their faction as they choose whee they want to spend the rest of their lives." Marcus keeps talking but I'm not listening. I'm going to choose Amity but, I'm so nervous. Probably just stage fright. I get that a lot.

"Jena Aaron," Marcus says as a girl from Candor walks to the stage. She slices her hand with a knife and drips the blood from her hand over the Candor bowl. What? We have to cut our hands. I don't like pain or blood. "Candor," he says as she walks proudly back.

"John Aaron." Siblings. He walks to the stage and slices his hand. He holds his hand over the Candor bowl, then quickly moves over to the Dauntless, just in time. Jena cries out to him but he just turns his head and walks away. The look on their faces makes me want to cry out and make things right, but I can't.

The more people that leave their old factions makes me want to cry. I don't know what I'd do if I left. But I don't have to worry about that, I'm not leaving.

There's been a few people who have left Dauntless for Amity. It's too dangerous in there. They are always bullying the Amity for being too cowardice, or the Abnegation for being selfless and the Erudite for being too nerdy. They're mean to everyone. But it's Candor that always starts fights with them just because they say whatever's on their mind about Dauntless. It's really hard to watch.

Samantha's name gets called and I watch as she slices her hand, and let's her blood drip into the Amity bowl. At least now it's certain, she can't change factions now. Because sometimes people say they will be in a certain faction for ever, but then they choose a different one instead.

I look over at Mia who flinches when ever someone stabs the knife in their hand or, when ever someone cries because their beloved child or sibling just left them. "You okay?" I ask. She nods. I know it's rude to talk during the choosing ceremony but, people are talking anyway and she looks scared.

She leans over and hugs me. She buries her face in my side trying not to watch. I put my arm around her and we sit for a bit.

Minutes pass and more and more people go up and choose, and more lonely families cry. "Aiyden Tabatho." Aiyden walks up, slices his hand and his blood drips in Erudite. He didn't even flinch. I hear people from Erudite scream of excitement and people from Abnegation sob. He left.

"Emily Telane." What? My name. I go up nervously, and you can see it my eyes. I walk to the stage and stare at the knife. I'm going to hate this. I look at my parents and sister, wink and smile. I pick up the knife and stare at it a moment. I've never used a knife before.

I take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. I place my hand above the Amity bowl, ready to take action. I slice the knife into my right palm. I moan and flinch back. My hand flies to the left and my blood goes with it. And my blood sizzles on the Dauntless coals.


	5. Welcome To Dauntless

I wasn't meant to do that! It was an accident! "Dauntless," shouts Marcus. No, this didn't just happen. What do I do?

I start to speak. "But I di-"

"Jarod Vaily," he shouts so I can't speak over him. I turn to Dauntless and take a seat next to the other transfers. I look over to Mia, Sam and my parents. They all look at me confused. I bring my knees to my chest and bury my face in them, and let out a sob. This cant be happening, this isn't happening.

Marcus calls out the rest of the names and they pick, then we leave. We all go sprinting down the stairs. I get pushed and fall down one flight of them. Ouch. This is so painful. Dauntless for two seconds, already injured. I get back up and follow the rest of Dauntless down.

We make it through the exit and sprint to the train tracks. I can see the train coming from around the corner but it's not slowing down. Is it not coming for us? Of course it is. It has to take us to Dauntless.

People start running down the tracks away from the train and I follow, being extremely slow. I start to speed up as if I was running from a fox. Those thing are scary. The train catches up and people start to jump on. What? We're jumping on the train! "What?!" I scream.

The boy next to me looks at me and says, "if you don't you'll be factionless!" I pick up the pace even more and leap, almost missing the train and just hanging onto the handle bar. I'm going to fall! I'm going to die! Be calm, Emily. Be calm.

I try to pull myself up but I'm too weak. I'm used to farming not climbing on moving trains. The door starts to shut as everyone is on, everyone except me. I try even harder but I can't. A warm hand that smells like lavender pulls me in and I face plant onto the floor. But no ones there. They must've left. Oh well.

"Bye assholes!" I hear someone scream. An Erudite blue jacket comes flying off the train and land on a person bellows head. Who was that? I don't know. I'll probably find out later.

I huff and puff on the ground until I move to the door window. Up ahead I see buildings. But then I see something move. Someone just jumped off the train and landed on the roof of one of the buildings. What is she doing? Suicide? But then I see another, then another, then another until I realise that we all have to do it.

What?! I'm not jumping off a moving train! But I have to. "They're jumping, let's do it," says a Candor initiate as he kisses the Candor girl next to him, holds her hand, then jump together. I'm not doing this!

"Everyone let's jump now," screams a voice near the front, so eager to die! All I can hear is screaming and shouting. Grrr.

But now nearly everyone is gone. I have to do it. I have to jump. I shut my eyes for a moment and kiss my headband. I will always love you Mia. I run forward and jump.

I land right on the edge of the building and almost fall but I get hit forward by someone else jumping. I would thank them but I can't talk or even move. Welcome to Dauntless.


	6. All A Dream

I finally sit up to see a tear in my dress and a graze on my knee. But where's my headband? It came off. No! That was the only thing I have left of my sister. I have memories for now but, not forever. Someone helps me up but walks away again. Who keeps on doing this?

Everyone walks into a group and starts listening to a man speak. "Hello everyone, I'm Jordan. I will be training you's for your initiations so I suggest paying attention because I don't repeat myself." Okay, Emily. Focus. "Do you people see that hole down there?" He points down to the floor where a massive hole sits. "You guys will jump. What's in there you may ask, I don't know. You'll have to find out for yourselves. But only if you survive it."

What? I look at him in disbelief. We aren't really going to jump are we? "Who's jumping first?"

"I will." A boy from Dauntless walks forward and steps onto the ledge. He turns around facing us, winks, then jumps without hesitation. I guess we are really going to jump then. He is so brave. No ones going to beat him, that's for sure.

More people jump and scream and land in I don't know what, and I stay here. One more person jumps leaving just me and an initiate from Erudite. "Okay, who's next?" I don't say anything and neither does she. It's silence for a good sixty seconds until a hand gets shoved into my back and I fall forward. "So the Amity volunteers does she?" I don't know. I look behind me and the girl smiles at me.

I walk to the edge and stand on the ledge. We're five stories high, how am I suppose to jump? I look at my feet, making sure I don't step of the ledge. There are blood stains next the the big hole where people must have missed before. I squeeze my eyes shut and just as I'm about to turn around and give up, I slip.

I scream and shout but no one will save me. I squeeze my eyes shut again as I go though the hole and everything goes dark. Then I land in a net. I'm alive. I am so happy right now. I struggle and squirm around to try get out. Then someone helps me out.

"Thank you," I say as I run towards the others.

"Whimp," I hear someone say. They probably expect me to start a fight but, I don't do that.

"Hey, don't," says someone from Abnegation. I smile at him and he smiles back.

"And what are you going to do about it, Stiff?" he says. He shoves him to the ground and the boy from Abnegation lets out a sob. "That's right go cry to your mum-" he gets cut off by a girl from Erudite.

"Hey, wanna go burn stuff?" I giggle and help the Abnegation boy up.

"Is this chick brain-dead or something?" says one of the Dauntless born. Well, I don't think this will be too bad.

I wake up in Amity and sigh. So happy to be back. Then I wake up from my daydream and I'm still here in Dauntless.


	7. Just Let It All Out

We are escorted to what is said to be the dorm that we'll be living in for the next few weeks as we do our initiations. I can't believe what I see. Everyone's in the same room. Everyone. I do _not _want to share a room with Dauntless. What if they kill me in my sleep. I've heard it's happened before.

I quickly pick the bed right next to the door. I like fresh air and it reminds me of home. Well, my old home that is.

I get changed out of my Amity dress and put on a black singlet, black leggings and a black leather jacket. I'm so against the leather. It's as if I'm wearing a dead cow. And I love animals.

"Hey," says the girl from Erudite. The one who apparently likes to burn stuff.

"Hi," I say in a scared manner. She didn't see that, did she? I hope she didn't. I don't want to look like the runt.

"So, I hear we got some free time. Do you want to light something on fire!" She sounds seriously nuts. "I'm Justina Robins."

"I'm Emily Telane. And, no thanks." I don't like setting things on fire. Especially when I'm in Dauntless and the person asking me is a crazy psychopath. You can tell by the way she smiles. I'm legitiamently scared of her.

"Why not? Meh, doesn't matter. I'll just ask James. Bye." She waves as she leaves. I feel sorry for James. But I look over to Justina and she's talking to one of the boys- I'm guessing that's James- and he's nodding.

What am I going to do for the rest of the day? I think I'm just going to sit and think.

Hours pass as everyone starts to come back in to sleep and I haven't moved off my bed since. I've been as still as a statue. Mia. Mum. Dad. Sam. I left everyone. What if they think I betrayed them? They will hate me.

I think I'm about to cry so I run outside and sit on the floor near a massive hole in the ground with water and rocks at the bottom. There's no railing so anyone could just fall down there. I take my chance as no ones around and cry. All the people I left behind, all the family that think I betrayed them they're all gone and I'll probably never see them again after visiting day. If they even show up.

I lost the one and only thing I had of Mia and Amity. It was all I had and now it's gone. Sam. She was so excited that we were going to stay together and now, she will hate me. Everyone will hate me. My parents. They had so much faith and trust in me. They wouldn't have liked anyone in the world picking Dauntless because it's too dangerous let alone their little girl. Mia. I was her role model. What if she picks Dauntless because she thinks that I picked Dauntless? She might die. Or get hurt. But I have to stop thinking about them, and start thinking about myself. What if I die? Or worse.

What if I spent the rest of my life alone?


	8. So Much To Learn

I run back down to the dorm and sleep. Luckily they'd already split up the Dauntless-born and the transfers.

_"You betrayed me! We're not taking you back."_

_"But I quit Dauntless to ask for your forgiveness. Now your saying no. I'll be factionless. You can't do this to me. We're family"_

_"We were family. Faction before blood! We aren't taking you back, ever!_

I wake up to people screaming and shouting. That was a dream. I'm so happy. My family would never do that, would they? I slept in my clothes so I'm ready already.

We all walk as a group to a really cool part of this place. It's like a training room. There's dummies and a mini arena thing. There are targets a distance from tables with guns on the them. There is also another one the exact same on the other side but, shorter distance and there's knives. But I don't want to know what the arena thing is for.

"Everyone, we are going to be learning fighting techniques. You will have an hour of practise, then you'll fight each other." What? I can't fight! I'm going to die! And no one will come to my funeral.

I run to where the dummies are. I give a really hard punch but the dummy doesn't even move, but my wrist throbs a bit. No matter how I punch I just can't get it right.

"James and Emily," says Jordan. I have to fight? Now? Why do I have to be first?

I get into the arena thing. James already stands there. Time to fight I guess. He lunges forward and gets me right in the throat. I cough and step backwards. I punch him in the face but he just stands there, but I think I broke my fist, if that's even possible. At least I know he doesn't block. I go for the face again, this time stepping forward to use all my little power. I get him in the nose and it starts bleeding. Now I feel bad. I don't like this at all.

He punches me in the rib, then the side of the head, I fall down and wince. This is the worst thing I've done in Dauntless so far. I get kicked in the back a few times until I get up. I would shout 'I give up' but I can't talk. He punches me in the mouth and I drop backwards. I'm not going to give up. I need one more punch, but I don't want to.

He kicks me in the stomach and I stumble back, then he kicks my leg and I fall to the ground. I put my arm up in the air and someone scream stop. I try to open my eyes but I can't be bothered. I limp to the chairs, sit and watch the other fights, sort of. I don't look because it's too painful. I don't like watching people fight, I've never liked it.

Jordan walks towards me and I stare him in the eye. "Your weak, Emily. If you can't pull your strength up then you can't be in Dauntless."

"I never wanted to," I say without thinking.

"Then why are you here then, huh?"

"Because I flinched when I cut my hand. I wanted to go to Amity."

"Well that's a shame isn't it? Look, if you don't want to be here you can leave and join the factionless. Or you can stay here and at least try." I look at him again.

"Fine. I'll stay."

"Good. Now get training!" I stare at him again as he walks away and I go to the dummies, weaker than I was an hour ago when I was training here earlier. I have so much I have to learn.


	9. Just Try Sometimes

I can't sleep. I took a beating but still, I can't remember how. All I can think about is how bad I'm going to fail my initiation. I'll become factionless. I will starve and be alone. When will the stress stop? It had better stop soon because I don't know how much longer until I quit.

I run outside again but this time I run to the training place. I walk up to the dummy and start punching it as hard as I can, which really isn't that hard.

I keep punching until my fists throb. I can't do this. I'm no fighter. I can barely step on an ant! I start to kick and punch and elbow and scratch but, I'm useless at fighting.

I sit and sob for a bit before I get back up and try again. I pinch with all my power and kick as hard as I can. Even though I suck, I would never do this to someone. But if I don't I will loose and have to leave Dauntless with nowhere to go.

I punch and kick and elbow for hours until I decide to go to bed.

"Em! Em!"

I wake up and see Justina staring right into my eyes. I flinch backwards and blink a few times. "You're supposed to be waking up now!"

"Um, hi," I say as I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands.

"Hi, you have to get up!" she screams. I get up and follow everyone to the training place. I keep trying to punch the dummy but keep on failing.

"Try doing it like this," says Justina. She closes her eyes for a few seconds just to get some focus. She squints, then pounces at the dummy. I stand there wide eyed, then I walk away. Like I said, crazy psychopath.

I walk towards the boy from Abnegation who is also trying to punch the dummy. "Hey," I say.

"Hi," I wonder what his name is.

"What's your name?" I ask. I'm really curious.

"Brandon," he says. It's a really interesting name. I wonder what it means. He is having the same problem, he can't find it his heart to try to fight because he doesn't want to ever do it.

"Next fight...Emily and Brandon." Do they have to ruin everything for me?

I walk to the ring and stare at Brandon with an apologetic look in my eye. "Sorry," I whisper.

"Me too," he replies. We both stare at each other not wanting to hurt the other. I step forward and swing, purposely missing. He does the same, not hitting me either. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I hit him in the chest. He holds his hands over his chest and winces.

I then kick him in the side and he hits me in the gut. I yelp then get him in the leg with my foot. He kicks and hits me in the head. Ouch. I put my hand on my head and bring it back down. Blood. Everyone looks at me expecting me to go berserk, so I punch him in the nose as he tries to get up. He groans and tries to kick me again. We both know we're not trying to hurt each other, right?

He gets up and I let him take a free shot. He kicks me in the throat and I struggle to breathe for a second. He then punches me in the jaw. Ouch. I look over to Jordan who's shaking his head in disappointment. Time to bring my fight on. But how do I do that?

I take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. In, out, in, out. Then I punch him in the face several times. His nose bleeding and blood dripping from his eye. I can't do this anymore! But I have to. He nods at me and I nod back, then kick him in the back causing him to collapse to the ground. He puts up his arm and the fight gets called done.

I won. I won the fight! People pat me on the back and I smile. Then I look at Brandon, all the blood on his face. Did I really do that to him? I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad. I'm going to go with a bit of both. Looks like that training finally paid off. I think.


	10. The Beginning Of A New Friendship

"I'm really sorry," I say looking at the bandage over Brandon's broken nose. "I wasn't trying to hurt you _that _much."

"It's okay. I hurt you too. Just look at your head," he replies.

"But that's _nothing _compared to _your _face. Just look at it. It's a bloody mess."

"I'm fine. But you need to work on your punching. It took _way _too long for you to finish the match."

"Oh, shut up," I say. "At least _I_ didn't loose to a girl from Amity."

"Hey, you can't say that. I'm from Abnegation, I _let_ you win," he says

"Well of _course _you did. You _let _me beat you to stone."

"As a matter or a fact I did. You see, the way I sat there barely doing anything while letting you punch me meant that I was logically letting you win so that you could be top of the ladder," he says in an amazing Erudite accent. We both just sit there and laugh.

"That's amazing," I say trying to hold back my laughter. It's really fun hanging out with someone who gets me.

"So, why did you pick Dauntless if you're still Abnegation perfect?" I ask curiously.

"Because I'm sick of being picked on. I'm sick of being kind, and selfless, and boring, and weak! I don't want to be any of that stuff anymore. What about you, Amity?"

I look at him in sorrow. Then my words come out. "It was an accident. I flinched as I cut my hand and my blood went into the wrong bowl. And I don't know how I'm going to survive this." He gives me a look of sorrow.

"You can do it with me." We both stare deeply into each other's eyes. It feels so good when people understand my situation. Only two other people know my story and one doesn't even care.

"I think that will work. Now come on, we have to go."

We walk to where the rest of the group is and follow them to the knife station. I'm so going to fail at this. I have terrible hand to eye coordination. I will miss the target so much. "Everyone pick up three knives each and get started. You know what to do, and if you don't, well, learn!" shouts Jordan. I'm not going to lie, he scares me.

I pick up three knives and pick a target between Justina and Brandon. I throw my first knife and miss so bad. I look at Justina and she nails it. "How did you do that?" I ask.

"It's easy. I threw knives in Erudite as a study. Most people did boring stuff. I would have studied what happens when you set something on fire but, I wasn't allowed to. They have a stupid 'no burning down houses' rule in Erudite."

"Okay," I reply and throw my second knife. Miss. I shut my eyes and throw my third one...and it misses. I suck at this. What do I do now? Do I get my knife or do I have to wait?

I guess I have to go get it then. I shut my eyes and run as fast as I can to my target. My three knives sit on the floor. I pick them up and one comes flying over to me. I duck and it hits the side of my arm. "Ahhh!" I scream and everyone draws their attention to me. I get up and take the knife from my arm wiping the blood off of it and onto my shirt.

Everyone draws their attention back to the knife throwing. Brandon looks at me. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say as a screech of pain comes out from my voice. He nods and nails the target with his knife. Okay this can't be too hard.

I fail many more shots until I finally make one. I did it! I threw the knife and it hit the target! I'm amazing! "Well done," says Brandon. I'm so happy right now.


	11. The Way He Is

The way the wind blows in my face makes me think of how I loved to climb the orchards back in Amity. Being too high up was really fun and sometimes I'd just sit there all day and watch people farm or watch the children play games. And when I got hungry, I'd just pick and apple off of the tree and eat it. I'd get home with a tear in my shirt or my pants would be dirty and my mother would tell me off. But she didn't do it in a mean way because we were in Amity. Through _all _the things that I'm afraid of, heights is definitely _not _one of them.

I sit on the ledge of the building we jumped off of a few days ago and stare into the hole. The moon sits over the city like the silhouette of a painting. I close my eyes for a moment expecting to be back in Amity, but I don't. I just sit on the edge of a Dauntless building. The cool breeze just makes me want to doze off but if I do, I'd probably fall and die.

Someone taps my shoulder and I turn my head quickly expecting someone to try push me off. But it's only Brandon, thank god. "Don't worry, it's just me." He takes a seat next to me smiles. "What are you doing all the way up here?"

"Thinking, what are _you _doing up here?" I say.

"Trying to find you." He smiles and I smile back.

"You came all the way out here just to try find me? Why?"

"No reason. I just wanted to talk."

"Fair enough."

"Is your family coming to see you on visiting day?"

"I don't know. My sister would really want to come and so would my friend, Sam. But I'm not sure if my parents would. They probably think I'm a traitor."

"No they won't. You're amazing and, you're no traitor." I smile. He always knows exactly what to say.

"Thanks." I say. "So, do you have any family? Well, you know, besides your parents."

"Yes, I do. I have two younger sisters, one older sister and two older brothers. They all live in Abnegation. I'm the lonely transfer of the family."

"Wow."

"So, what do you think will happen if we don't make it through the first stage of initiation?" he asks.

"I don't know. I've been trying not to think about it."

"Oh, sorry."

"Why? There's no reason to be sorry."

"I know, it's just an old habit."

"Yeah. That's why I can't push you right now," I say. He laughs and so do I.

"You'd better not. No I'm serious please don't." I laugh again.

"What do you think is the next stage of initiation?"

"I don't know," he says. "Gutting puppies?" We both laugh again.

"Really? I was thinking more of diving in a tank full of snakes. You know, because that's brave and all." He laughs and we stare into each other's eyes. He leans in and I lean in too. Then out of nowhere, we kiss.


	12. A Good Aim

I wake up and smash my face into the stone wall. I wince as I get out of bed from the other side. "You okay?" asks one of the transfers from Candor. I nod. Well _that _was embarrassing.

I get dressed and walk to the door. Everyone's going to the training place, I follow.

I get there and see Brandon. I haven't seen him since that kiss last night. It was actually pretty magical. The heat of his lips against mine and his eyes locked on mine. It was probably the most magical moment in my life. Ever.

"Hey," he says as he walks away.

"Hey." I walk over to where Jordan is standing. He stands next to a table full of guns. Woah. We aren't going to shoot each other are we? You know, it wouldn't surprise me if we did.

"Initiates, we will be practising shooting. Everyone pick up a gun and a pack of bullets." He shows us how to load the gun and how to hold it as you press.

I pick up one of the guns and load the bullets into it. I aim at the target and squeeze one eye shut. I pull the trigger and it fires. I fly back against the wall and loose my breath. I can barely breathe. I cough and get myself back on my feet. I open my eyes and I hit the target. I hit the edge of it but I hit the target!

"Well done," says Justina. Where did she come from?

"Thanks?" I say.

We finally finish so we get to have free time. I go to back to my special place on the roof. Visiting day is only four days away. And I'm almost sure my family is coming.

"Hey," says a familiar voice.

"Hey," I reply as Brandon takes a seat next to me.

"Thought I'd find you here."

"Why do you keep trying to find me anyway?"

"I wasn't looking for you. I already knew where you were," he says. I laugh and he does too. "Anyway, I have to tell you something."

"Sure. What is it?" I ask.

"I...I'm...I'm thinking of dropping out."

"What?" I say. "What? Why?"

"Because, I...I can't do anything. I lost to a girl from Amity in a fight and...I don't want to be Dauntless anymore!"

He never told me told me this. Why not? "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"Because I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Now I do. I'm going to go speak to Jordan tomorrow."

"No, don't...just...please stay until the end of stage one of initiation. Please? For me?" He stares at me deeply taking it in. Will he do it?

He takes a deep breath. "Okay. I'll stay."

"Thank you," I say as I give him a hug. Now I just have to make sure he makes it. But how?


	13. Wiener Or Loser

"Everyone up and at the pit in five!" I wake up and groan. What time is it? I look outside and the moon is still out. It must be like, four. I get up, get dressed and run to the pit.

"Okay, is everyone here? Yes? Good, now I need everyone on the train right now!" Everyone runs to the train so they don't miss it.

I run beside the train as it comes. I jump on in under a minute, and I'm pretty proud of myself. A hand touches my shoulder and I jump. "Don't worry. It's just me," says Brandon.

"Oh, hey," I reply.

"So, do you have any idea what we're going to be doing?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Nope."

"Silence everyone! We will be playing a nice and _friendly_ game of capture the flag!" shouts Jordan. "Everyone grab a gun and a pack of paintballs, then we'll pick the teams." Jordan and a man that I've never even seen before talk to each other as we grab our equipment.

"Okay, I'll take James," says Jordan.

"I'll take Darren," says the other man.

I don't really pay attention much. I just stand still until I hear a name I know. "Justina," says the man.

Once again, more and more people get picked, and I stand still. "Jessica," says Jordan.

"John," says the man again. John. He was one that left his sister in Candor. I wonder why he did it? He looked like he wanted to be Candor but had second thoughts and went to Dauntless.

Everyone's on a team except of course, Brandon and me. Jordan stares back and forth at us. Then he finally opens his mouth, "Brandon," he says. Seriously!

"Emily," the man says.

"Great, I didn't even get picked," I say walking towards them.

"Hey, I picked you," he says.

"You didn't pick me, you got stuck with me." I stand between Justina and John.

"Okay, Steve. You and your team go hide your flag. Then my epic team will go hide ours. Got it?" He nods and jumps out the train. Okay, I guess we're jumping again, then. Justina jumps, then John, then me, then everyone else.

I land and roll my ankle. Ahhh. That hurt. We run- I limp- to the pier. "So, where we gonna hide the flag?" someone asks.

Someone points at an abandoned playground. "How about over there," they say. I hear a bunch of 'yeah's and 'sure's and people nod their heads.

We all run to the playground like little kids at recess. Someone hands me the shinny, blue flag. "You guard," they say and everyone runs away. I'm guessing they want me to hide the flag somewhere here. I run the cubby house, fort thingy and hide it there.

I sit on the swings and start to swing slightly. I can hear people screaming in rage or cheering as they just shot someone. I just sit here swinging like I did the day before the choosing ceremony. That was the best day ever. The wind blowing in my face as I swung up and down, forward and back. The rain running down my face as I chased Mia around the yard. It was so magical. And I will never have a moment like it ever again.

I hear a rustling on the floor like someone running on leaves. But they don't see me. I pick up my gun and shoot at them. They fall down and scream in rage. "Bye," I say as they stare me down.

An hour passes and nothing. I'm so bored. That's it. I grab my gun from the floor and run. I hear people shooting and the sound is close. I hide behind a car as I watch people shooting each other. Then I run towards a half destroyed house. I think it might be here. There's a lot of people guarding the outside. I run over and see Justina eyeballing me. I motion her over and she comes.

"Hey," she says. "What are you doing?"

"I think it's in here."

"Okay, let's go." We run in and shoot a guard that stands right in front of us. We both stare at each other as we enter another room. "You first," she says.

I nod and run in. The lights are off and I can't see a thing. But I can feel a slight pain in my chest as I look down and see paint on me. "Ouch," I say hoping Justina heard me. I fall to the ground as we're supposed to and Justina finds the switch. She looks at me and hides behind a coffee table as a paintball comes flying past. She does an army roll on the floor and shoots at the person who shot me. He falls to the ground with paint on his leg and I see his face. "Brandon you...person," I say. He smiles. "Oh, shut up," I say.

"I have it!" shouts Justina. I get up off the floor and help Brandon up too, then I push him back down. Then he gets up himself. We run outside, me and Justina holding the flag screaming, "We win!"

People pat us on the back as other people are arguing about who shot who. I then look over at Justina who's in an argument with people from our own team. I walk over and join them.

"Yeah, we won. Because we are awesome!" John says.

"What do you mean by _we_? Don't you mean, you win, Justina because you're amazing?"

"No, I meant what I said. We won!"

"No, _I _won. I'm the winner. So is Emily. We are the winners, the rest of yous are just...Wieners." I cant help but laugh. There is something totally wrong with her. How many times did her parents drop her?

"Nice one," I say and we walk back to the dorm.


	14. The Fire Girl Beatdown

Once again I sit on the ledge of a building. It's annoying having to climb all this way but, it reminds me of home so I'm happy. But I do miss my family. Thinking about my family makes me sort of uneasy. I swing my legs over the ledge and sit. I had just won paintball two hours ago and the excitement has started to die down.

"Hey," says Brandon. I guess this is our meeting place now.

"Hey," I say.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" What?

I stare at him deeply. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"You know, because I shot you."

"Oh yeah. But why would I be mad that you shot me?"

"Um, because of the way you just said it." I laugh.

"True," I say.

"Anyway, I'm sorry for shooting you."

"Yeah, me too." He looks at me.

"Why are _you _sorry?"

"Oh, you know, for beating your sorry little butt," I say. He laughs as do I.

We sit for a bit and throw rocks down below. We don't aim for anything, we're just bored. "Ouch!" screams someone from below. We look at each other and laugh like crazy. We both may be laughing on the outside but on the inside, we both really want to help that person. We stop throwing rocks and just look at each other for a minute.

He yawns, "Aren't we supposed to be getting as much sleep as we can?"

I shake my head slowly, "meh, can't be bothered."

"Well, I'm going to go back to sleep," he says. He kisses me on the lips, then jumps off the ledge. You see most people would scream if this happened to them, but not me. I know there's a net there. I think. Meh.

The stars are no longer out and the Sun is coming up over the horizon. I sigh at the view. This was always my favourite part of the morning back in Amity, because it would come up right over all the orchards. I wonder what Mia is doing right now. She's probably having breakfast in the backyard. All alone. Without me she would have been alone for days already. And many more to come.

I sigh. What if my family thinks I betrayed them?

"Boo!" shouts Justina from behind me. I scream and fall off the ledge. I land in the net at the bottom. I sigh again. What was she trying to do? Scare me? Mission accomplished. Or kill me? No. Everyone knows that if Justina was trying to kill them she wouldn't just scare them off the ledge of a building. She'd set them on fire and roast marshmallows over the top of them. Nice and crispy. Crispy on the outside with a nice soft centre and what am I doing? I'm not going to eat marshmallows made over the top of me. Or am I?

I look up and Justina just jumped. What?! I quickly jump off the net as she lands. "Woah, that was fun. Let's do it again!"

I look at her in the eye. "You almost killed me!" I shout.

"But I didn't. You landed on the net." I roll my eyes and smile.

"Come on, let's go." We run to the dorm and sit on our beds for a couple of minutes. People start to get up and go to the training place. Me and Justina just look at each other and pretend to just be waking up.

She yawns, "Oh I'm so tired. I was sleeping for hours."

I giggle, then also yawn. "Woah, that was a weird dream. That monkey stole my pineapple, then he laughed at me."

"Didn't he set the pineapple on fire first? Then he laughed."

I smile. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that part."

Everyone starts towards the door and walks to the training centre. Justina and me stand side by side laughing at what just happened.

"That was amazing," she says.

"I know right! But something just had to be set on fire didn't it?" She smirks.

"Okay, first two up...Justina and Emily!" Jordan says.

"What?!"

Justina walks slowly towards him, "I'll burn you," she says and walks to the fighting arena. I follow her and she throws a punch.

"Ow!" I shout. She smiles and hits me again. Okay, so this is how we are going to play it, is it? She throws another punch, hitting me in the eye and I wince. I try to punch her but she kicks my leg and I collapse to the ground. She has a powerful kick.

I get up and punch her, this time hitting her in the face, she winces and kicks me in the face. I fall to the ground and put my hand to my eye. My eye is bleeding. "Oh, you going down!" I shout and charge at her. She puts her arm out and my throat slams into it as I fall to the ground. I raise my hand and Jordan screams stop. He must think I'm weak. I am weak but I don't want him thinking it. I can barely breathe.

Justina extends her arm and I take her hand, pulling myself to my feet with her support. "You k?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Did you really have to clothesline me, though?"

"Sorry," she says. "Let's go burn some shit!"


	15. Visiting Day

I stand next to a burning car. I can't believe we actually set something on fire. The smell of smoke burns my eyes and I start to cough. "You okay?" Justina asks. I nod.

Something starts to crackle and she screams, "run!" We both run back about a hundred meters and the car explodes. I stand there with my mouth wide open and I swallow a bug. I start to choke but Justina doesn't care. "Oh my god that was awesome!" she screams so loud it hurts my ears.

"How often do you do this?" I ask.

"Um..." she throws away an empty match box into a pile with a about twenty of them in it. "Sometimes?" she says. I roll my eyes and she pulls my arm, leading me around a corner.

"What?" I asks.

"Shhh," she says with a serious face.

"You just shushed me. Why would you shush me?"

"Shhh," she says again. I look at her then peer around the corner. Jordan?

"What is he doing here?" I ask. She shrugs.

"Run," she says. We run around the corner then into an alley. Then we run through it and go into the street. We both breathe heavily, especially me.

"Did we loose him?" I ask.

"I think so," she says. "Ouch."

"What?" I ask.

"I burnt myself." She looks at her finger which has a biggish burn mark on it. "Shit! Can you believe this is only the ninth time I've burnt myself?"

"Nope. You barley ever burn yourself," I say sarcastically. She rolls her eyes and we run back to the Dauntless compound.

She goes straight to sleep with everyone else but I just can't stop thinking about tomorrow. Visiting day. What if they don't show up? What if they think I'm a traitor? I get this thought way too often. I go to my hide out on the roof.

I see a black figure already sitting on the ledge. "Hey, Brandon," I say.

He turns his head around sharply, "oh, hey, Emily."

I walk closer towards him and take a seat. "Are you nervous about tomorrow too?" I ask.

He looks me right in the eye. "Is it that obvious?" he asks. I shake my head. "So, where have you been?"

I look behind me seeing if Jordan's there. I inhale sharply. Although I don't know why. "I was out burning things with Justina." He snorts.

"Like what?"

"A car, a trash can, a pile of matches, you know, the usual." He laughs.

"Well that's Justina for you." I nod. "What if my family doesn't show up?"

"I don't know. I'm sure at leased one of them will. Unlike me. I promised my family I'd pick Amity," I say. A tear rolls down my cheek. "And now I'll never see them again."

"Hey, it's okay. Of course they'll come. You're amazing and they love you." Another rolls down my cheek and I hug him. We sit like this for a while and it makes me feel better. It makes me feel like I have someone I can trust. "We should probably get to bed. It's a big day tomorrow. For some of us." I nod. He kisses me and I kiss him back. We both stand up and hold each others hand as we jump.

I run to my bed and burry my face in my pillow. They're not coming. But they will. But they won't. Why would they? I finally cry myself to sleep.

I wake up to sobs and cheers. Okay then. I get up and get dressed. I walk to the pit and look around for my family. I can see Brandon hugging a tall man wearing grey. His father. And I can also see his mother, two brothers and three sisters, all wearing grey. He was right, his family is massive. His younger siblings run up to hug him. It looks so nice having a family that big. I wish I did.

I look at all the families that have come. Someone taps my back and I turn around. Mia. "Mia," I scream. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Why wouldn't you?" she asks.

"I don't know. Where's mum and dad?" I ask as I give her a big hug.

"They're over there," she says. "Why aren't you in Amity?"

"I'll tell you later," I say as we run down to mum and dad.

"Mum, dad!" I shout.

"Em," they reply.

We hug for around two minutes until my dad asks a question. "Why did you pick Dauntless?"

"I...it was an accident. I meant to pick Amity but...I flinched. I hate it here. Will Amity take me back? Please say yes."

"I...I don't know," he says. "What's the matter with your face. You have a cut near your eye and your face is bruised."

"Oh," I say. "Well you see, we were forced to fight each other." His eyes open wide and his mouth drops.

"You didn't hurt anyone did you?" he asks.

"No," I say. I hate lying to him but, I don't want to worry him by saying that his little girl has been beating people up in her new home away from her family.

"Good," he says.

"We've missed you. Everyone in Amity has," my mother says.

"Everyone?" I question. She nods.

"Wow. I've missed them too. But I've missed you guys the most."

We hug again and I just wish that this moment could last forever.


	16. My Darkest Shadow

I sit in the cafeteria with Brandon and Justina feeling alone, even though they're with me. We would get food but neither of us can be bothered. I miss my family. I finally got to hug them yesterday but, I still miss them, like crazy. At leased they know I didn't betray them, that I'm no traitor to my family. But that doesn't solve my biggest problem; how am I going to make it through initiation and- if yes- how am I going to survive being a Dauntless.

We all stay quiet because no one wants to talk about yesterday. Everyone saw their families and only now realise that they miss them.

"You got any idea what's on the menu?" asks Brandon to break the painful silence.

"I don't know. Pie?" I reply.

Justina rises from her seat. "Pie!" she screams so loud everyone in the cafeteria stares at her. No one was talking so her voice was pretty clear. "Pie!"

She runs to the table and grabs all four that sit on the tray and puts it on her plate. She comes back to the table and starts shoving it in her mouth like a wild animal. Her eyes are wide open staring at her plate. "I think she likes pie," says Brandon.

"Really? It looks like she hates it."

"What, pie? Ewww that shit is gross," says Justina as she shoves more of it into her mouth. Oh Justina that crazy psychopath.

I stand between Brandon and Justina as we walk down the streets talking about factions. Brandon says that Erudite is amazing but Justina thinks otherwise. She says that Erudite is for smarty, stupid people and that they care about everything. But Brandon says that Erudite is smart and that smart and knowledge is awesome. He gets his words jumbled a lot.

"Okay, I know this is an obvious question but, if you could be in any faction, which one would you choose?"

I look at Brandon and know that neither of us will pick Dauntless. "Amity," I say.

Justina looks at me like I'm crazy. "What?" she finally says.

"I'd pick Candor." I look at him, he looks at me and Justina looks at both of us.

"Am I the only one that'd pick Dauntless seeing as, we all picked Dauntless!" Why is she so loud?

"Hey, I wanted to pick Amity but I failed to point my hand." Wow, people must think I'm stupid. I knew I'd never be Erudite.

"I heard that four of us are going to be cut tomorrow. Including the Dauntless born," says Brandon.

"What?!" says Justina. "They can't do that!" I think she's angry by the tone of her voice.

We all sit in silence looking at each other wondering who's going to make it and who isn't. "I'm not going to make it," I say, breaking the silence.

Brandon starts to talk. "Yes you-"

"No! I'm not going to make it. I have only won one fight. One fight. And I'm from Amity, and I'm not good at anything except making daisy chains and farming!" I'm shouting at them now. A tear falls down my cheek.

"Hey, if anyone is going to fail, it's me. I lost to an Amity girl and I haven't won a single fight. I'm the weak one that isn't going to make it past initiation," says Brandon.

Justina looks at both of us both. Then she hugs us and we all start to calm down a bit. When Justina's not rying to set you on fire, she's actually really nice and comforting. "Well at leased we still have tonight," I say.

We jump off the ledge and talk all night about memories in Dauntless and about our old lives back in our old factions. I guess we're really close now. If we break up tomorrow I'm going to scream and cry.

I wake up the next morning with a half smile, half scared face. I find Justina and we walk to the training place. All the initiates stand here waiting for Jordan to put up the scores. One of the Dauntless born steps on my foot, but she doesn't apologize, she just looks at me, then walks over to her friends. We find Brandon standing right at the back of the crowd.

We walk over to him and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around. He's about to say something but everyone runs forward to the board that just got put up. I hug Justina, in case I don't make it, then Brandon.

We run through the crowd and look at the transfers board and it reads:

1- John

2- Justina

3- Ash

4- Jessica

5- Veronica

6- Darren

7- James

8- Emily

9- Laura

10- Brandon

Brandon is last. I am eighth. We're both going to get kicked out for sure. Jordan looks at everyone and shouts. "The four that are going to be kicked out are; Penny, Ron, Laura and Brandon." What? Brandon is getting kicked out! He'll be factionless. But I made it.

I turn to Brandon and hug him. He will be alone the rest of his life. We hold the hug until the room is pretty much cleared out. He pulls away, then kisses me on the lips. "I'll miss you," he says.

"Please, you can't go," I start to sob. "Please."

"There's nothing I can do but...meet me near the train tracks tomorrow at midnight. I love you."

"I love you too," I say as I hug him again.


	17. Forever Alone

I don't sleep. I just sit on the ledge of the building waiting for Brandon to come. But he doesn't. Why would he? He's factionless now. It starts to rain but I just sit. I'm all alone now. I don't know what the second stage of initiation is but apparently it's supposed to be really intense. My thoughts of initiation get interrupted by Brandon again. _He's not coming back, it's time to move __on, _I tell myself. I'm alone and so is he. We are forever alone. All those moments we had are gone now.

_"Meet me near the train tracks tomorrow at midnight." _Why does he want me to meet him near the train tracks? What is he going to tell me that he couldn't tell me then? This question is itching at the back of my throat. Why?

The rain stops and Justina walks onto the roof, sits next to me and puts an arm around me. "Hey," she says.

"h-" I start to sob.

"I know," she says. "I know." She hugs me and I lean into her. Tears start to spill down my face but I know I'm going to be okay because I have a friend who cares, who understands.

"I'm never going to see him again." I sniffle.

"Hey, just...I'll do something with you tomorrow."

Tomorrow! "Sure, what time?"

"10:30, just meet me here."

"Okay, but I have to leave at 11:30," I say. She gives me a concerned look.

"Why?"

"Because I'm supposed to be somewhere."

"Okay just...be careful."

"I will." She leaves and the rain starts up again. This time with hail. I wonder how Brandon is handling this weather.

At around four in the morning, according to the Sun, I go to the dorm and sleep.

_"I love you," Brandon says._

_"I love you too," I reply. He walks away with a gun in his hand. He shoots the person next to him in the leg so they can't run away, and tells them to give him money. Brandon's clothes are really dirty and have tears in them._

_"No, don't do it-" Brandon shoots him in the head, killing him instantly. It's a bloody mess. I have never seen anything like it, ever. What has happened to him?_

_He runs to me and points the barrel of the gun at my forehead. I freeze, finding it hard to believe that the boy I liked, the one who kissed me, the one who was always there when I needed someone, was about to shoot me. "Give me money!" he screams._

_I don't say anything. But then I open my mouth. "I thought we were friends, why are you doing this?"_

_He looks at me as if I've ruined his entire life. "Being factionless changes people. It makes them do anything for survival, including someone else's death."_

_"Well I won't let you take my money. You can't do this for survival. This isn't survival. It's just killing people for food. It's not survival." He clicks the bullet into place and a tear rolls down my cheek._

_"Life's full of disappointments, Em," he says. Then he pulls the trigger._

I wake up and scream. My back is sweaty and I'm struggling to breathe. I get up, wondering what I should do. It's twelve in the afternoon. Wow, I slept for hours.

In ten hours I have to meet Justina. I decide to do what I usually do when I'm bored, or what I used to do when I was bored; climb a tree. I find a really tall tree and start to climb.

I'm half way up when the branch beneath my foot snaps. I fall eight meters to the ground. I lay on the floor, breathless. I finally get up and brush myself off. My back aches and I can barely move my leg. I look down at it and there's a big cut on it. I'm bleeding but for once, I don't even care.

I start to climb it again, this time making sure I don't step on a light branch and plunge to my death as I get higher.

I finally make it to the top and just sit there for a bit. I can see Dauntless having a normal, casual day. I can also see some of the other initiates who are upset about their friends having to leave them to be factionless. I wonder if it's any easier for them.

Hours pass and I just sit in the tree watching everyone do stuff. I saw someone fall in a bin so, that was pretty amusing. I check my watch that reads ten. I climb down and go back to the dorm.

I get there and no one is in here. They're probably out doing something. I get dressed, brush my hair and leave. I go to the roof of the building and meet Justina there.

"So what are we doing here?" I ask.

"Well, lets get tattoos man!" she says as she jerks my arm and starts running.

We make it to the tattoo place and look at the walls at the tattoo options. "I'm going to get a skull. On fire, of course."

I laugh. "Of course."

"What are you going to get?"

"A flower," I say. She gives me a stern look. "What, it will remind me of my old faction. And my family."

"Whatever," she says.

"Okay, who's going first?" says a lady with brown hair and blue tips. Justina points at me and I elbow her in the rib. She snorts and I just turn my head away from her and train my eyes back on the tattoo lady. She looks like a freak. What the hell is the matter with her?

"I hate you," I say to Justina as I follow the lady to a room with a chair in it.

It reminds me of the aptitude test. I take a seat in my chair as she puts the needle in my arm. I wince and pout through the whole process. It hurts so bad. But when I finally finish, I feel way better. I sit back down in the waiting room Justina.

She finally comes out with a smirk. Our tattoos are very different but somehow the same. "Nice tattoo," I say.

"Yours too, sunshine girl."

"Oh, shut up," I say. I look at my watch. It's eleven-forty. "Shit!" I say. I decided to pick up a bit of swearing seeing as I'm in Dauntless now.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing, I just...bye." I wave and she just shrugs and walks away.

Where's Brandon? He has to be here somewhere. There!

He stands with bright, blue eyes staring at me. "Em!" he says. I run to him and he hugs me.

"Hey," I say. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's so lonely out here."

"It probably is. I've missed you." And it's true. I really have missed him. I've been wanting the pressure of his lips against mine for ages. Okay fine, it was a day but...shut up.

"Dido. Do you know what stage two of initiation is yet?"

I shake my head, "nope. We start stage two tomorrow, well, today."

"Okay."

"Why did you ask me to come here?" I ask.

He inhales, and exhales. I watch him close his eyes and inhale again. "Because i wanted to tell you the real reason I wanted to quit initiation."

I stare at him deeply. "Real reason? What real reason?"

He takes a deep calm breath. "I'm...I'm...I'm Divergent."

"What? You didn't say you were..." I close my eyes and check behind me to make sure no ones coming. "Divergent." Also, Divergent's are real? And my friend is one. Holy crap.

I see the sadness in his eyes. He doesn't like it here, especially not alone. "I'm quitting with you."

He gives me a worried look. "What, no. You're not..." he stutters. "Quitting! You will make it. The problem with me was I couldn't do it, but you..." He exhales again. "Your heart is pure. You put all you have in there, and you'll make it. There's nothing you can't do. Don't throw all that away by helping me survive on the streets. You will make it." He smiles. "I promise."

At the word 'survival' I shudder. I think of my dream last night when he shot me in the head because he didn't care about me anymore. I take a deep breath and step back.

He looks at me, concerned. "What?" he asks.

I look him in the eyes. I shake my head, "nothing." He squints then shakes his head as if taking himself out of a trance.

"Never mind. I also want to give you this," he says as he sticks his hand in his back, left pocket of his jeans. He pulls out a note and hands it to me.

I open my mouth to say something but he puts his finger to my lips. He kisses me then runs away into the darkness. That could have been our last kiss ever.


	18. Fears

Everyone sits in a hallway waiting for Jordan to come. He's told everyone to come here for the second part of initiation. Like everyone. Including the Dauntless born. We're all concerned because no one knows what going to happen. We were supposed to be told but, as if Jordan would tell us.

The door right at the end of the hallway opens and Jordan walks in. "Okay, for part two of initiation, I will be testing you. You'll see what I mean later. But for now on, everyone will be in the same group. Okay, the order will be the worst, to best so, first up, Emily."

Everyone looks at me as I make my way through the hallway. I don't know what to expect. I'm the first one so, it's like being the first jumper, everyone gets braver when they see someone else do it. As long as they don't have to do it first.

I make it past the door and into a room that looks just like the one for my aptitude tests, but without the mirrors. "Sit," says Jordan. I take a seat on the weird looking chair and he puts a small bottle in a syringe.

"So, what is this test?" I asks and he draws his attention to me.

He isn't going to tell me. "Just, when you go into this simulation, try to calm yourself down," he says.

He puts a hand on my shoulder and I feel comforted. Maybe he isn't so bad if I know he does care. But then he injects my neck with the needle. "Wait what-" the world blacks out and I can't see anything.

I open my eyes to my old faction. It's finally so peaceful. I guess stage two didn't work for me and I'm back in Amity. Well, I don't care how it happened, I'm just happy to be back.

A spider crawls on my shoulder and I scream. I hate spiders. I flick it off and it crawls on my shoe. I scream again trying to run away from it but it's really fast. Like, 'super spider' fast. Another one comes, then another, then another. There's about twenty of them chasing me and crawling on me. I'm trying to flick them away but they just won't budge. A swarm of moths come flying towards me and I run again. I scream even louder than before.

"Help!" I scream. "Help!" But no one comes. Everyone's disappeared. Where did they all go? There was at least fifty people here less than two minutes ago. Where did they all go? More bugs come, caterpillars, flies, ants, bees but I can't see half of them.

No time to think about anything else, Em. Just focus on the plan. "Get off me you stupid insects!" Wait. Jordan said this was a simulation. Then these shouldn't be real. No, of course they're real. Grrr. "Go away! No one likes you!" You'd better be quiet, Em. Don't want to hurt the bug's feelings. "Oh, shut up conscience!" Wow, this is like the weirdest conversation I've ever had.

Suddenly I'm in Dauntless again, thank god. But I'm not in the room I was in last. I'm in the training place. Jordan walks in front of us. "Initiates, the final results. Everyone made it except one person...Emily." What? I didn't make it. I'm going to be factionless. My life is over.

"What?!" I scream. "What?!"

Jordan walks over to me. "Bye," he says with a smug smile. What?

I start to cry but he just walks away. I failed.

The world slowly fades away and I'm back in the chair. I scream and jump off the chair. "Wow, Emily. Chillax." I stare at Jordan who's staring right back at me. I'm breathing deeply, trying to fully calm myself down. "It's just a simulation. It wasn't real."

I nod my head, not being able to talk. I leave the room and walk out the back door. I walk to the dorm and wait for Justina to come, which might take a while seeing as she is like, third to last.

Two hours pass and more people arrive back. "Justina!" I scream as she walks in. She runs to me and hugs me.

"Was yours bad?" she asks.

"It was a fear landscape, of course it was bad," I reply.

"I know but, how bad was it?"

"Well, there were spiders, moths, flies, caterpillars and just a bunch of insects all over me."

"Ow, so cute. Were they on fire?"

I nudge her arm. "Then I was kicked out of Dauntless. I didn't make it. Then I woke up and I was so happy. Well, except for the fact that I'll never sleep again," I say. "What about you?"_  
_

She looks down at her feet. "Well, someone pushed me and I fell but I didn't land. Then, I was in a building and a bunch of...of...air raid sirens went off."

"Then what happened after that?"

She inhales sharply. "That was the fear."

I snort then burst out laughing. "What?"

"Shut up," she say and pushes me down.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Wooop, wooop," I suck at an air raid siren sound but, good enough to make her shove me again.

"What ever."

"Okay fine, what else happened?"

"I got told I was Divergent by some random. Yeah, when I woke up I asked if I was allowed to burn something."

I laugh, "that's amazing."

"Yeah, can't wait until tomorrow," she says sarcastically. I stop grinning and pull a blank face. Crap.


	19. It Only Gets Harder

"You didn't do too bad last time, Emily. Try do better this time, though," Jordan says as he presses the needle into my neck. The edges of my eyes start to black out all the way into the centre. The world slips away and I'm laying on the floor, alone.

There's a stabbing pain in my chest. I pull a knife from it and struggle a breath. Oh my god, It hurts so bad. There's a pool of blood around me and I'm struggling to breathe properly. I cough and try to move but I can't. I'm dying.

I can't die. I have to make it. I've already made it so far. Why is this happening? I let a tear roll down my cheek. What happened? One minute I was in Dauntless now...I don't even know where I am.

I move my legs and get myself up, then I collapse to the floor again. The world goes white and I try to calm myself down but I can't. I seems so real but it also feels kind of fake.

Sometimes it's just hard to tell what's real and what's not.

I take deep, struggled breaths and stay calm. Try to stay calm, that is. I close my eyes and when I open them, I'm in Candor. What the hell am I doing here?

I look at my chest to make sure I'm not dead. Which apparently I'm not. There's no knife, not even a wound, but I can still feel the pain in my chest.

I hear someone scream so I look to my left. A Candor woman is being torn apart by another person. But this person has a bite mark on their arm and has a dead look in their eyes.

"Zombie!" I hear someone to my right scream. Zombie? Crap, what do I do? I run to one of the buildings in front of me and start to climb it. A zombie is chasing me so I start to climb higher. The zombie starts to climb and I scream. Zombies can't do that, can they?

Think, Em, think. What happened in the stories your father told you? Well, they made friends with them and had a tea party. I don't think this is going to help me at the moment, though. What is a zombies weakness? Smashing them in the head! I shudder. But they're still people, I can't just smash their heads in.

The zombie grabs my leg and I scream as I kick him in the face. He groans and goes after me again.

I reach the top of the building where a wooden planks sits. I run to get it as the zombie reaches the top of the roof too. With hesitation, I run at it and smash him in the head. Blood splatters everywhere, including on me.

I blink and freak out about the scene I'm in. I'm beyond the fence with six other people making a plan. "Okay, so numbers four and six, go distract them, five, two and one, shoot at them as they reveal themselves for the attack. I'll be a backup incase something goes wrong. And seven," he looks at me disappointingly. "Just, stay here. This is a job for experienced people. You're just too...useless."

I look at him in pain. I'm useless. They all run off and I stand there with my gun in my hands. I'm useless. How could he say that? I blink my tears away and run out into the open. If I'm useless, I'll get shot. And so I do.

Then pain strikes me and I fall to the ground and cry. It feels so real. I try to crawl away but, I can't. I feel paralysed. I pull a face while trying to move, but then another bullet hits me and I die. I think.

I wake up in the room where Jordan stands. "That was a little faster. But still not good enough." I died twice in that simulation. I really suck. I nod my head as I leave the room.

Of course, I sit in the dorm and wait for Justina. I really wish she sucked at Dauntless, or that I was better.

When she finally arrives, none of us say a thing. Probably because neither of us wants to talk about it. So we just sit until everyone goes to bed. Then we do.


	20. Awkward

It's four in the morning. I stand outside where the rain pours down. I wear a black hoodie, leggings and black boots. I wonder if my family's okay, if my old friends are okay and if Brandon's okay. I mean, who knows, maybe Abnegation took him back? They're pretty selfless that way. But I haven't seen Sam since the Choosing Ceremony. I really miss her. What if I never see _her _again? And why is it that every time I think about the people I miss it starts to rain?

"Em!" says Justina. I turn and look over to her. "Let's go."

I nod my head and follow her down the street. Justina is dressed the same as me. Both our hair in high ponytails. Normally I'd wear my hair down but Justina convinced me to put it up. And by _convinced, _I mean she pinned me down to the ground with a lighter in her hand and put it closer to my face until I budged.

The rain finally stops as we make it into an alley. We run over to the car we blew up last time. It is pretty much just ashes now. We both look at each other and laugh. We are like so rebel. Well that was girly.

We run to a tree and Justina pulls out her lighter. "You ready?" she asks

"Hell yeah!" I shout. She smirks and sets it on fire. The heat makes my eyes water so I back off a bit. Out of nowhere she pulls out a bag of marshmallows. "What the hell," I say.

"What," she says. "I'm hungry." I roll back my eyes and grab two sticks from the ground. I hand her a stick and grab a marshmallow from the bag and hang it over the fire.

We laugh and eat marshmallows for about a half hour until we hear footsteps behind us. I turn my head around sharply, ready to hit someone with my stick. But no ones there. Justina pushes me against a wall around the corner. My back smashes into the bricks and I wince. "Oww," I whine.

"Shut up," she says. A tingle runs down my spine. The pain is so sharp. I peer around the corner and Jordan stands there. Why is he always here?

I hear more footsteps and someone else stands next to him. I look at Justina and she looks back at me. Then, simultaneously, we both look back.

"It took you long enough," Jordan says. I can't see their faces anymore, I can only see their silhouettes.

"I was busy," says the other voice. Steve.

"Any sign of one yet?"

"Nope. What if there aren't any Divergent's this year?" Divergents. Brandon is Divergent. What would they have done to him if they knew? This sounds serious, the way they're mentioning it.

"Shut up, there's always a Divergent."

"Okay fine. Why are we here? Why aren't we at Dauntless headquarters?"

"Because, there was an explosion here a few days ago and I'm pretty sure it was an initiate," says Jordan. Well, at least he's finally right about something.

"Yo, dummies. Over here!" screams Justina. She takes my arm and we run into another alley. Jordan and Steve chase us but I don't think they knew it was Justina. She nudges my arm and we run again. Although I don't know why we're running.

We sprint all the way back to Dauntless headquarters and find our way to the dorms. We sit in our beds and pretend to wake up.

I take off my hoodie so I don't look suspicious. I walk with Justina to the hallway we're supposed to wait in for our fear landscapes. My name gets called out by Jordan who looks really tired from running. I smile as I enter.

I sit in the chair and he gives me the evil eye. I wonder if he knew it was me.

He injects me with the needle and I close my eyes. I love the feeling I get when the world slips away. It's as if I'm invincible, yet I feel so peaceful.

I wake up on the chair. What happened? Is the simulation over? I don't even remember trying to face a single fear.

Jordan stares at me angrily. What did I do? "Leave, now!"

"What did I do?"

"You got a problem with me?"

"I didn't say any-"

"I will hurt you!" I'm scared. What did I do? No, seriously what did I do?

"I-" he punches me in the jaw and I can't finish my sentence. "Ouch." My face stings and I can taste the blood flowing in my mouth and nose.

"Why are you still here?"

"Because you just punch me in the jaw!" I scream. Crap. Shouldn't have said that. He gives me an aggravated look, then punches me across the mouth.

I spit blood onto the floor and get up. What's his problem? I didn't even do anything. Everything's blurry and I start to see coloured spots around the room. He kicks me in the gut and I open my eyes to Justina. What? My mouth throbs but there's no blood, as does my stomach. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I might, actually.

"Hey, Em!" she says with those crazy psychopath eyes.

"Um...hi?" I say.

"Do you know what we should set fire to today?"

"What?" I ask even though I really don't want to know.

"You," she says. My eyes wide open and my mouth dropped. What? She pulls a lighter from nowhere and pushes the button. A flame alights from the lighter and she throws it at me.

I scream and try to run but for some reason I can't. My feet catch fire, then my ankles, then my knees. I scream. This feels so real. "This is so much fun!" She has an evil look in her eyes and I don't know what I'm more scared of: Justina, or the fact that I'm slowly and painfully burning to death. I pick Justina.

I shut my eyes ,waiting to die but I don't. Instead I'm on top of the building with Justina and Brandon. I run up to him and hug him. He hugs me back. "I've missed you," I say.

He smiles, "me too."

Justina looks at me and I take a step back. I do not wish to be on fire again.

I smile like I did the last time I was on this roof. When we shared everything about ourselves. There were no secrets and we were just...being ourselves. Except for the lie Brandon told me afterwards. But I can understand that.

Brandon gives a dangerous look at Justina and she gives him one back. What's going on? Is this another game? I don't think I like this game very much.

They both get up at the same time and sprint at each other. Justina lifts her foot and kicks him. He falls off the building and dies. What?! What?! My face streams with tears. Is Justina trying to ruin everyone's lives?

She looks at me and smiles. I step away from her and she takes a step closer to the ledge. Then she jumps. What?! She dies too. I cry so loud everyone in the world could probably hear me. I close my eyes. Then I open them again.

I'm back in the simulation room! I'm so happy. My face is soaked with tears. I look up at Jordan. "Every year," he says. "Every year someone fears me." I stare widely at him and sprint out the room.


	21. Trapped In A Nightmare

I sit on the roof from my simulation. I refer to it as that now because I don't like thinking about all that other stuff. Justina comes up and takes a seat next to me. "You're not going to kill me, are you?"

"Yo, I'm not _that _kind of monster," she says with a worried look in her eye. "Why you ask that?"

"I...fear simulation."

"Ah."

"So what was your simulation about?"

She takes a long calm breath, then opens her mouth. "My brother."

I raise an eyebrow and stare at her curiously. "You have a brother?" Okay, maybe that was a little rude.

"Yeah. His name is Liam. Anyway, I walked into a room and saw him bleeding out." She sniffles.

"Oh. Well, if it makes you feel any better, you got to set me on fire in my simulation. Then you pushed Brandon off a building, then committed suicide."

She smiles. "Awesome! Did it hurt? Did you die? How much blood was there? Was your reaction hilarious? Was there any pie?"

I pull a blank face. "What? Um...let me see...yes, no, lots, probably and no."

She looks unhappy yet, satisfied. "What else happened?"

"Not all that sure. Oh yeah, you should ask Jordan. He may have taken more from one of my fears than _I _did."

She squints her eyes at me, confused. "What?"

I pull a ridiculous smile, then walk away. She still stands looking confused. I wonder what she's thinking. She probably just wants to burn something. She's so messed up. I am so mean. Meh.

I walk to the dorm and sleep.

_I hear loud footsteps come into my Amity bedroom. I look up and see five people in my room, staring at me. There's something strange about them, but I don't see it._

_"Hello, Emily," says one of them. A female with long, blonde hair made into a plait._

_"Um...hi?" I reply. Okay, who are these people and why the hell are they in my bedroom?_

_ A younger man steps forward, around the age of nineteen. His hair brown, as dark as chocolate. "We are the Divergent of Amity. Why don't you meet our leader. I think you might know her."_

_A young girl with dark brown hair—just like mine—steps forward, her eyes chocolate brown—just like mine—and wearing a cute, yellow and red Amity dress. The second I see her I know who she is._

_"Mia?" I say. She's Divergent? How would they even know? And she doesn't even like Divergent. She's only seven they wouldn't know if she's Divergent or not until she's sixteen, and that's years away._

_"Shocker isn't it?" she says with an evil smirk. Just like the one Erudite give when they talk to Abnegation._

_I inhale sharply trying to find the air in my lungs but I can't find it. It's gone. "What have you done to my little sister?!" I scream. I'm furious._

_They all give me the same look. "It's not our fault you sister's a monster." What?!_

_"What?! You do not have the right to say that about my sister! And she is not a monster! She not anything but innocent! So you'd better take that back or I'll...or...or I'll-"_

_"You'll what? You wouldn't hurt us. You're Amity," says the blonde woman._

_"I'm not Amity anymore! I'm Dauntless!" Oh my god. I can't believe I just said that. Not only can I never live to Amity again, but I just admitted it. I am truly not Amity anymore. I am Dauntless now. If I even make it through._

_"Then you shouldn't be caring for me," my little sister says. What? I give her a deep look. "What? You were the one to tell me not to let anyone tell me what to be, and this is what I want to be. Divergent."_

_I did say that. But I didn't mean for this. This isn't what I meant, and now...I should have never told her that._

_"No. This is not what you're supposed to be, though. Not evil and...Divergent. Please?"_

_She gives me a look and I know she just isn't going to budge. "But you betrayed me," she pauses. "We're not sister anymore so why should I listen to a word you say?" I look at her with glassy eyes. Not sisters anymore? So our sisterhood is over, then? I sniffle and let out a sob._

I wake up and sigh with relief. My sister isn't Divergent and we're besties. We still love each other. And I could not be happier.

People stare at me thinking I'm a freak for smiling uncontrollably. But I don't care, I think I look like a freak too. And I'm proud of it.


	22. Can't Stand It Much Longer

I find Justina in the cafeteria. I walk towards her and take a seat next to her. She wears a black hoodie, ripped, black jeans, black converses and her hair in a simple high ponytail. "Hey," I say. I'm still a shy Amity girl, but I can be Dauntless if I wanted to, I just really don't. And kind of...can't.

"Hey," she replies. "Hey, why didn't Jordan notice the burning tree when we almost got busted the other day?"

I scrunch my face, "I don't know, Justina. I don't know," I say with my eyes trained on the clock instead of her.

"How many days left of initiation," she asks.

I squint, "I don't know."

I train my eyes back on her. "You don't know anything do you?" she asks.

I stare deep into her soul, but then I stop. She probably likes it when people do that. It's just too evil and mysterious. "I don't like you," I say and she smirks at me. "Don't look so smug. Well you know what, yeah, there's no more pie." Her smile fades and mine begins.

Her wides eyes make me step away. She takes massive breaths, her shoulders bobbing up and down. "What?" She sounds quiet, but angry. "What?!" That's better.

She looks at a person in line who just picked up the last pie. She gets up, trains her eyes on her. She closes her eyes then opens them again, this time in fury. She runs as fast as a bull to her and tackles her to the ground.

I cover my mouth with my hand and laugh so hard I cry. One of the initiates from across the table looks at me like I'm a freak. I think he thinks I'm choking...um...on the apple juice I have in front of me, or the table because that's the only stuff in front of me.

Justina returns with a pie in her hand and blood coming out from her nose. But she just smiles like a little kid licking a lollipop.

I roll my eyes and giggle. She's such a freak.

I sit in the chair again with, not Jordan at my side but Steve. No one has seen Jordan in hours, and that's not normal for Jordan. He loves seeing us initiates in pain.

Steve doesn't say anything, he just types stuff in the computer and stabs the syringe in my neck like he's trying murder me. I scrunch my face and wince. He does it so carelessly.

I un-scrunch my face see a person running towards me with a bat in their hands. What do I do? I look around everywhere but all I see is a gun, and I'm not using a gun. I'm not going to shoot anyone and I'm not going to kill anyone, either. I'd rather die myself than live with the guilt.

They swing at me but miss because I dodge it. I stare at the gun and quickly turn away from it. Not using it.

The person swings the bat again and I dodge again. The bat misses my face but hits my shoulder. I squeal and grab my shoulder with the opposite hand.

They swing again, hitting me in the side. I think I hear my rib cage snap but I don't think so, but the aching pain in my side says otherwise.

The person whacks me in the stomach and I lose my vision. The world is multiplied into six and a hand grabs me by the throat. I wiggle and squirm but they have a firm hold. I elbow and kick and punch and scratch and bite but nothing happens.

Suddenly, a stabbing pain rushes through my body. My back, my legs, my shoulders, ache. "_Just shoot them. They won't know because they'll be dead. It won't hurt them. And all your pain can be over," _I think to myself. But I can't. They may not know but I always will.

The bat makes contact with the back of head and my vision goes mostly black like I'm about to pass out. I can't pass out, though, because then they'll kill me for sure, and I can't die.

I try to run as the hand loses grip but it makes contact with my collar and the bat hits my leg and I collapse to the ground. I can feel the blood trickling down my face. The gun is only a meter away, I could shoot if I wanted to, but I can't do that. I'm just not that kind of person.

I get whacked in the face and feel the blood dripping from my eye. I can't bare it much longer. I crawl closer to the gun and pick it up. It's not as heavy or big as the ones we used in training. I click in the bullet, aim and fire at what I think is the silhouette. But it must be because the bashing stops.

I close my eyes to take a deep breath but when I open them again, I stand in what looks like another dimension. The ground a hot texture but white as snow. The sky magenta with green clouds and a red Sun flowing above the world. The lake in front of me, black with blue flowers sprouting out the water.

I would go and explore but I'm too afraid. I'm afraid of everything here. Even though I know this dimension is quite similar as the one I live in I don't move. I'm too scared to move or talk or even breath. I just stare wide-eyed at everything in front of me and let my lower lip tremble. A tear of fear rolls down my cheek. I know it's a strange fear but I understand what it is. It's my fear of fear.

Being afraid sucks and now I am, of everything and I can't stop it. Fear is like a disease. There is no cure and you can't stop it from happening. All you can do is waste your time trying to stop it and it doesn't make a difference. It's engraved into your mind and you can't fix it. There's just nothing you can do.

A neon orange bird flies towards me and I go sprinting away. I almost run into the yellow trees but stop myself in time. I turn and run in the other direction, followed by the bird. A building made of natural, pink stone awaits. I would enter but I'm too scared to. Of course I am. I sit on the floor and curl up into a ball.

I breath heavily until I reach my own dimension again. I'm not afraid anymore. Except for the fact that I'm strapped into a chair by rope in a room of grey walls and floor and black and white ashes. Where am I? I can't move.

A dark shadow emerges from the darkness, a gun in its hand. I stare at the gun and try to escape, which is pretty much pointless Because I'm trapped.

He loads the gun and I hear a bullet click into place. "Tell me what you know," says the voice. What about? What does he want to know? I don't know anything about anything. What's his problem?

"I...I don't know anything. What are you talking..." I stutter when I'm scared. "...about," I say.

He lifts the gun and I shut my eyes, just waiting for it to happen. I flinch at the sound of a bang and I feel a stench of pain in my right leg. He shot me.

I scream at the top of my lungs in so much pain. "Now will you tell me?" he asks.

I breathe heavily, in and out through my mouth. "But...I...I don't know...anything. I don't...even know what...you're talking about...uh."

He gives me another furious look and clicks another bullet into place. I hear another bang and I scream again. Blood comes down from both my legs and I force my eyes shut.

"Now tell me, everything!" His shouting is as loud as the birds that would fill my ears when I was in the trees back in the Amity compound.

"I told...you. I know...nothing," I say, just struggling to make the words out.

He lunges at me and kicks me in the jaw. I scream and he shoots me again. This time in the head.

I scream at the second I wake up from the simulation. I breathe heavily as Steve tries to calm me down but instead, I scream and leave through the door. When I'm terrified or trying to get over something, I run away from everyone because I just want to be alone.

I'm just not sure if I can stand it much longer.


	23. Fight, Fight, Fight!

Why is Dauntless cake so good? It tastes just like a chocolate piece of heaven. And spider, crap! The spider crawls off my plate and onto another girls who is at the same table as me. She sees it sitting on her plate right next to her cake. She shrugs her shoulders and scuffles the rest of her cake.

She looks familiar. I know she's another transfer initiate but I've seen her somewhere else before. The cafeteria! She was the one who got tackled by Justina, I can tell by the faint bruise on her cheek.

She's had like ten pieces of that cake already. I think she has some sort of obsession with chocolate or something.

Justina sits next to me with a wicked smile on her face. "Okay, what did you burn this time," I ask her.

She opens her eyes a tiny bit wider. "What...I didn't burn anyone, I mean, anything."

"Okay fine, what's up then," I say.

"Oh, I love pie," she says.

"Nah," I say sarcastically. She's a freak as I've mentioned once or twice.

"Meh, let's go back to the dorms."

"Sure I—" she grabs my arm and pulls me off the bench before I can finish my reply. She drags me all the way back to the dorm and pushes me onto my bed.

"So, are you doubling up on fears now too," she asks me.

I look down to the corner of my eye. "Nope."

She gives me a look of pity. "Oh. It's okay."

"Oh shut up," I say with a smirk.

John walks past and Justina pulls out her foot to trip him and he face-plants into the ground. We both look at each other and laugh.

John pulls himself back up, a look of anger on his face. He steps closer to Justina and opens his mouth. "What, you jealous that I dominated you in stage one, huh, Justina?" And that's where people always go wrong.

She stops laughing and stands up. She takes a step closer to him and punches him across the mouth. He spits blood onto the floor and I scrunch my face. He's so gross.

He swings at her and she dodges. She pushes his back down and knees him in the gut a few times.

She let's go and he falls to the floor. She jumps on the bed next to him and jumps off of it and onto him with her elbow smashing against his face as she lands.

He groans and tries to punch her in the face again but instead, she gets up onto two feet and smashes the heel of her boot into his face leaving a crack sound and she walks away.

I look down at him. He has blood pouring from his nose and blood dripping all through his hair. His bloody hands grab hold of his nose and tries to ask for help, but I just turn my back, and walk away.


	24. Stronger Than You Know

I walk through the hallway, tears pouring from my face. The fears in my fear landscape are only getting worse. About three minutes ago I woke up from my simulation. I made it into Dauntless and I was a jerk. I was beating up Amity and Abnegation and calling them all selfish wusses. I was being the uncontrollable me. The mean me. The Dauntless me. And I could never be happier to be back.

I walk through the hallways until I reach the dorm. I slowly walk to the door, looking down when I crash into someone.

I look up to John. He stands with two other initiates by his side, Dauntless born. I gulp. He has a bandage around his nose from when Justina broke it.

"What, Amity? You laugh then walk away. I didn't know that was how Amity worked." His words are sharp. I know most people would just punch someone who said something like that and think they're stupid but, not me. His words hurt me as he calls me a faction traitor, even though it's not even my faction anymore.

"I'm not Amity anymore, so stop calling me that," I say. It kills me to say that but I just have to get used to it. I take a deep but hidden breath as I try to make my way through the door.

A hand grabs hold of my arm and I stop. "I can call you whatever I want," he says.

My legs are shaking with fear. I know nothing good can happen from this argument but I still choose to let it get the tiniest bit worse. Anyway, one beat down is worth people not thinking I'm that big of a whimp.

"No you can't, Candor." Oh yep, totally going to pay for this. I really wish I hadn't of said that. I can feel his grip hold tighter with fury.

"What did you just call me?" I'm really going to pay for this.

I gulp again. "Are you deaf, Candor? I said it loud and clear," I say.

He looks me in the eye and draws his hand back. I flinch as he throws it forward, hitting me in the cheek. I wince as I hear someone come slowly closer.

I fall to the floor and see Steve come to check on the initiates. I turn back to my left but they ditched me. But I know they're coming back. Who wouldn't? Me.

I get up quickly, brush myself off and walk to the bathroom.

I look at my face in the mirror and the redness on my left cheek. He punched hard. No wonder he got first. I wash my hands and leave.

I walk to the dorm and make my way to my bed as everyone looks at me. I make it there and jump onto my bed.

The wall I stare at is empty, not the tiniest bit of detail. But I guess it's boring enough for me to fall asleep fast.

When I awake, there's only six initiates still sleeping, Justina being one of them. I get dressed into my usual, black Dauntless clothes but wearing boots instead of sneakers, just to try something new.

I walk outside and sit near the pit. We got given a day off from training, because stage two is going really long.

The water crashes onto the rocks or comes flying back up, hitting anyone on the railless bridge. I think I overheard someone calling it the chasm. Apparently, about a hundred people have jumped off of it and died. Okay fine, I'm an eavesdropper, so what?

Sick of getting water splashed onto me, I get up and leave. I walk back to the dorm and everyone is awake and gone. I walk to my bed and sit for a while. I'm so bored.

Finally someone walks in and I'm scared to know it's John. He looks at me and walks over.

"What do you want," I ask.

He smirks. "To teach some coward not to mess with me," he says.

I stand up, trying to act tough. "Braver than you," I say.

His smirk turns to a grin. "Says...you? The worst initiate still in the running. Braver than me? Top of the class? Good luck with that."

I don't like it when people think they're better than me just because of one little fact. True or not, we are still average. I frown my face and curl my lip. "Well maybe you are, maybe you're not," I say.

"Than why don't we find out," he says. He punches me across the mouth and I fall to the floor, bashing my head against the cement wall. He kicks me in the rib and my hands curl around it. He kicks me in the back a couple of times, then elbows me in the face.

I lay on the floor as he walks away. My entire body throbs and I have blood flowing from my forehead and mouth.

One of the initiates walks in and helps me up. It's the girl Justina tackled. "Are you okay," she says.

"Yeah," I say, "sort of."

"Was it John," she asks.

I scrunch my face. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Uh...he beats up everyone. That bitch."

I snort. "What's your name," I say.

"Ash. At least, that's what everyone calls me," she replies.

"Okay," I say.

A few hours pass and Justina walks in. She looks at me and walks towards me.

"Dude, what happened? Did you fall from another tree? Because you really suck at climbing," she says.

"I...wait I don't suck at climbing. I'm an awesome climber," I say.

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. So what happened?"

Im not sure if I should tell her or not. Meh, whatever. "John was mad at me for laughing at him and saying I'm a better Dauntless than him. It was just a massive argument."

"Oh dude, you said you were a better Dauntless than him. Do you know how hurtful that is," she says. I frown at her. "Anyway, where's John, I...uh...have to tell him something. With my fists."

"I don't know. Well, bye."

"Bye," she says with a butt-whooping smile on her face. Whatever.


	25. Grant My Wish

Why haven't I doubled up on fears yet? Everybody else has but I'm still getting new fears. I've had twelve fears and I'm not getting any new ones. Why can't I just be like everyone else and have ten or something, it would be so much easier.

"Emily," says Steve interrupting my thoughts. I get up and walk towards the door. I can see John to my left, eyeballing me. I move a little faster until I make it though the door, then I shut it behind me.

Please be an old fear. Steve gestures to the chair and I sit. Old fear please. He arranges the needle and pushes it into my neck. Please be an old fear. I close my eyes.

I open them again. And I stand on top of skulls. I look at them and run away. I find a nice grass area to stand. No one is near me. I can't see anybody. I don't even know where I am.

"You're all alone," says a voice I can't name. "Nobody's here anymore. Nobody. You're alone and there is nothing you can do. Not even I'm here. Well, I sort of am." A dark shadow emerges from the tree line. But then it disappears. Who is that? It comes again and it's not even a person, it's a shadow.

The shadow runs for me and I try to run away, but the shadow is faster than me. I run with all my speed but the shadow somehow grapples my arm and pulls me back. "No one can save you, Emily." It now talks to me instead of talking inside my head.

I try to jerk my arm but the shadow has a firm grip. "How do you know my name," I shout, still struggling with my arm.

"I know everybody. Especially you. I also know everything about you, like the best way to kill you." I open my eyes, wide. I struggle even harder but the shadow pulls me to the ground. It let's go of my arm and I jump up and run away.

I crash into something but I'm not sure what, until I open my eyes. The shadow. I can feel my heart racing really fast. I can't hear anything other then the sound of my heartbeat which almost blocks out the voice of the shadow.

"No one can help you, Emily," it says.

I stomp backwards. "Stop calling me that!" It grabs hold of my wrist again and I scream.

What is happening? What is going on? Where am I? And why is this shadow after me? So many question with no answer. I elbow the shadow in what I think must be its face and then run.

I make it to a tree and start to climb it really fast. I make it to the top and scream when I see the shadow already bet me there. I fall backwards, about to plunge to my death but the shadow catches me at the bottom. The shadow drops me and I run to a building close by.

I can hear evil laughing behind me but I keep on running. I almost reach the door but an arm wraps around my waist and pulls me backwards. "What do you want from me," I scream with fear.

"I just want to kill you," says the shadow. I try to kick, punch, scratch but it doesn't let go. I fall to the floor and the shadows hands finally let go. I stay on the floor for a minute before I get up and sprint to the door, slamming it shut behind me.

The shadow doesn't enter so I take some time to breathe. I slide my back down the door and take some deep breaths.

I bury my face in my palms and let out a tear. I sniffle. I open my eyes and see someone in a ski mask. I jump up to my feet and they sprint towards me. I turn around open the door, and surprisingly, it's not locked.

I step out into a pitch black forest. I turn around and the door is wide open. I thought I shut the door. I see something out of the corner of my eye. It's a person.

I'm terrified now. A hand covers my mouth and pulls me backwards. I try to scream but my voice gets muffled by the hand. They push me to the cement and pull out a gun.

I put my hand in front of my face and he pulls the trigger. The bullet goes through my hand and hits me softly in the nose. I wince.

There's a hole in my hand in which blood pours out of. It takes off its mask and I notice his face, his hair and his rage. It's John. I get up onto my feet and punch him. He doesn't move at all.

He drops his gun on the floor and I pick it up and point it at him. He grins and says, "go ahead. I dare you."

I shake. "Fine...then. I...will," I say stuttering. I click the bullet into place, squeeze my eyes shut and let my finger slip on the trigger. I don't like him, but I also hate this.

"Nice try, Amity," he says. What? I open my eyes and see a bullet wound in his head. But no harm has been done to him.

"What," I say.

He laughs. "Oh, Amity really are stupid. I'm invincible." What?

"But–" he points his gun at me and pulls the trigger.

I wake up and scream. I look at Steve and he's about to say something but instead, I run back to the dorms.


	26. Prepare To Relive The Worst

So here I am. Everyone's been talking about this day for a couple of weeks now. The final test in stage two, which happens to be the final test of initiation. Everyone's excited, not me. If I fail this, I fail Dauntless initiation. I'll be factionless. Might as well be dead. No. Anything's better than dead. Or is it? I mean, leaving your family to go to a different faction is pretty much the same as leaving your family to go to another dimension. But you just don't know where you're going this time. You'd have to be extremely brave to try it though. And I never will.

I follow everyone else to a room I haven't noticed before. It's massive though. I look over to Justina. She catches my gaze and walks over to me.

"Hey," I say, "what happened to your hair?"

She shoves me. "It's called the pixie cut and it looks amazing."

"Tsk, it—okay, it is pretty damn awesome." I smile. I hate using words like damn and crap because I've been taught not to use them for sixteen years. I feel that if I use words like this that I'm betraying my faction even more.

There are screens on the walls and a bunch of chairs on the floor. There is also a door at the end of the room. The screens just show an empty chair. Wait! People are going to see me screaming in my fear landscape! Well, I'm prepared for probably the most embarrassing day of my life.

Steve stands up I front of everyone and when I turn around, I find that everyone has already taken all the seats, so I sit on the floor.

"Initiates, as you all may know, this is the final test of initiation. You will each being going through every one of your fears. You have to try do it as fast as you can or you'll get a bad score." I wonder what happened to Jordan. No one has seen him in days. People are starting to think he's dead. I don't know. But, that's one less problem I have to worry about. And Steve can replace that problem. He's so annoying.

"We aren't doing any specific order so, first up; Jessica," says Steve.

An hour has passed and all I've seen is people screaming, crying and squirming. I think I'm about to die of Bordem.

"Emily." What? Oh yay. I'm terrified now. What if I don't make it? What if I pass out? What if I have a fit and everyone sees it. I gulp and follow Steve to the door at the end of the room.

We enter another room—obviously—and I take a seat in the chair that's there. I peer around the room, searching for that camera. I find it and smile to it. Then I give the peace sign. You know, because Amity and all, the peaceful.

"Do your best, get a good score, blah, blah, blah, I'm tired." Wow. Steve is lazy.

"Okay. Because I understood all of that." I give him a sarcastic smile.

"Whatever. You ready?" I nod. And he stabs me with the needle.


	27. Feels Like Hell All Over Again

I open my eyes to Amity. How did I get here again? I don't know. But I have to talk to my sister. I run to my house. There's a key under the doormat but I knock because it's not my home anymore.

The door opens by itself. I look behind me and enter. No ones here. They're always here at this time. I take a look around and still nothing. "Hello! Mum! Dad! Mia! Is anyone here?" I shout. But I don't get a reply.

I feel a tickle on my shoulder so I turn around. I stare face to face with a caterpillar. I scream and run into my bedroom. Nothing has changed in it yet. Everything's still exactly how I left it. I turn around to a nightmare. Bugs and insects are scattered all over my bedroom floor.

I scream and jump onto my bed. I scream again and jump, trying to avoid the spiders and ants near my feet. I hit my head on the roof and fall onto the floor. I would cry in pain, it hurts so bad, but I'm too busy screaming my head off.

I look down to my feet and see my whole body covered in bugs. Cockroaches, caterpillars, spiders, ants, snails, slugs, beetles, earwigs, bees, moths, wasps, flies, everything. They start to crawl on my face and I try to scream again but they fill my throat so I can't talk, or even breathe!

I get up from the floor and run out the door with the glorious sound of bugs being squished as I step over them. I sprint to the door and leave.

I run to an open area and scream another time. I trip and lay on my back, on the floor. I start to roll around while managing a scream.

I shut my eyes for a few seconds and when I open them, I'm in Dauntless. Why do I feel like I've been here before? Like...in this room with all these people—shut up, Em! You've never been here before, so snap out of it.

Steve steps I front of everyone and clears his throat. You know, I would listen but...I'm so sick of listening. Something always seems to go wrong when I listen.

In sigh and everyone turns around to look at me. "What?"

"Where you not listening? Bye!"

I frown for a minute until I realise what had just happened. I just got kicked out of Dauntless.

"What," I say, this time sternly.

Steve walks through the path the crowd had just made. "You heard me."

"Actually, no. I didn't hear what you said. I wasn't paying attention." I smile, trying to hide my fear of him. I fear pretty much everyone in Dauntless.

"You're out. Bye, bye." He smiles, smugly.

"Yeah, ya freak," says someone in the crowd.

I turn around and leave, trying to hold back my tears. But I can feel them come so I start to run.

I scream. I look up and I'm in a forest. A forest? What the—I squeal.

I crashed into a window and I'm on the floor. All I can see is broken glass, scattered around my body. I wince. I touch my hand to my face and when I pull it away, all I see is red. What happened?

I get up and turn around. Windows? They're everywhere, there's no way out. I'm going to die.

I turn to one of them and see my reflection. I scream at what I'm seeing. There's blood and glass all over my face. I start to cry, only now just feeling the pain. But I'm not crying tears. I'm crying blood.

I pull each tiny piece of glass out of my face and fall to the ground once again. I start to cry and scream even more. The pain is unbearable.

I suddenly stop crying and screaming and start feeling weak. I crawl away but faceplant onto the ground and die.


	28. Lost In Sorrow

**Hey, withie01 here! So so so sorry I haven't updated in so so so long. I have been so busy reading fanfic and freaking out about hight school. So, all my friends are going to the same high school and me...well, I'm leaving them all to go to a different one. Do I want to go to a different high school than them? No. Do I have a say in any of this? No. Because I'm thirteen. Anyway, I really need some advise on what to do here, if you help me, you can add a fear into Emily's fear landscape, there is still plenty of room for more. Wow! Is withie01 writing an authors note? Are there words from withie01 actually written here? Holy shit! What happened to the world? I killed it that's what? I mean, butterflies, unicorns and rainbows? Taylah did it! Soz, inside joke. Well, this is awkward. Anyway! please enjoy this chapter. Follow, favourite and review, I really appreciate it. Thanks.**

I open my eyes. I thought I was dead! What is going on? I have to know what is going on right now. I run to a nearby window and look at my reflection. My face looks perfect. What just happened?

I look down at my clothes. Black and white? Why am I Candor? I hear footsteps and screams. "Zombie! Zombie! Run for your lives!" I turn around. Zombie! I run. I run as fast as I can and I don't slow down for anything.

I stop at the edge of a ravine. Why is there a ravine in the middle of Candor? Three zombies are chasing me but I have nowhere to go. I see two zombies tearing a woman apart to my left. She's screaming and crying and almost dead. I will not end up like her!

The zombies have almost caught up to me x2. There are now six of them. I take a deep breath and picture the bottom of the ravine to look just like the building we jumped off of at the beginning of initiation. I close my eyes, and take a step forward, off the ledge, and happily plunge to my death.

"Wake up! Wake up you useless piece of shit!" I open my eyes. Where am I? I look at a man I front of me and he does not look happy.

"You think you can sleep at a time like this?" Anger fills his voice as well as determination. "You are as useless as an iceypole in the middle of winter!" His words aren't mean but they hurt me more than they should. A tear rolls down my cheek and he steps closer to me. "Yes! That's right! Cry! People who cry are useless! No one needs you! No one wants you! Everyone hates you! You are useless! Useless! If someone wanted you it would be because they are brain dead or they want to feel better about themselves! Useless people are weak! And weak people are useless! And you are both weak and utterly useless!" My face is wet with tears and I break down.

I hate this guy. Yes! I actually hate him. And I've never hated anyone ever before. Ever. Until now. I want to punch him! I want to hurt him! I want to break him! And I want to kill him!

I swing my fist back and when I throw it towards his face I hit nothing. I sit in a chair. I look up and see Jordan. Jordan! I haven't seen him in ages! Everyone thought he was dead?

"Jordan, where have you been? Everyone thinks you're dead!" He looks at me in anger and pure rage.

What did I do? "Everyone thinks I'm dead! Not for long! Soon, everyone will think you're dead! Because you will be!" What's going on? What's happening? I'm scared.

He draws back his fist and hits me. I scream and he hits me again. I try to run away but I'm tied to the chair. He hits me again and again.

"Why are...y-you...doing th-this," I manage to let out.

"Because I hate you!" He hits me in the belly with a baseball bat. I cough up blood and yelp.

"Help," I try to scream but it comes out more of a whisper. "Help!"

He hits me again and again until I pass out. I wake up two seconds lateral Justina. "Justina! Thank gosh you're here! I'm scared!" I hug her with all my emotion.

She pulls away and smiles. "You should be." What?

She pulls out a lighter and evilly steps closer to me. What? I step back with every step she does. I crash into a wall and I'm cornered. What? She sets the lighter alight and throws it at me. What?

I look down and watch my legs burn. The smell of burning flesh. I am eaten alive by fire to the sound of Justina's laughs. I scream and shout from the burning sensation in my entire body. It's painful, it's torture, it's paralysing. I squeeze my eyes shut and when I open them I sigh of relief.

I look up from my not burning body and see Brandon smiling. Brandon! "Brandon!" I run up to him and hug him. "Brandon! I've missed you so much! You have no idea!"

He chuckles. "Well, I have missed people too, you know. Like you." I smile and trap him in a bone crunching hug.

I turn around and see Justina. I flinch and step back. "What's your problem," she asks me. I shrug. It wasn't real, Em. Was it?

She hugs Brandon and he hugs her back. He has a knife in his hands. What? He stabs her and she pulls back in fury and pain. She grapples the knife off him and slits his throat. She then pushes him off the roof of the building I didn't even know we were on.

She looks at me, pain in her eyes and mouths 'sorry'. She sticks the knife it her right eyes and she screams as she falls off the building, and lands somewhere near Brandon.

I get down on the floor and scream. I put my hands to my ears to block out hall the sound and just scream and cry. "What have I done!" You haven't done anything, Em. Stop blaming yourself for everything you see. It's not your fault. It was for the best.

I stop crying for a moment and listen to my own words. I choke back the tears and jump off the building with the rest of them.


End file.
